Sir Richard Wharton: In stage one we say nothing is going to happen.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Stage two, we say something may be about to happen, but we should do nothing about it.
Sir Richard Wharton: In stage three, we say that maybe we should do something about it, but there’s nothing we *can* do.
Sir Humphrey Appleby: Stage four, we say maybe there was something we could have done, but it’s too late now.
(Yes Minister) ― Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn
Ah, you’ve no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
(Robin Oakapple, Ruddigore or The Witch’s Curse)
― W. S. Gilbert
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.
― Mike Tyson
Never believe anything until it’s been officially denied. (Sir Humphrey Appleby, Yes Minister)
― Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn
It cannot too often be pointed out that women are people.
― Myles na gCopaleen
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.
― Charles Darwin
Bureaucracy expands to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.
― (sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde)
I had, also, during many years, followed a golden rule, namely, that whenever a published fact, a new observation or thought came across me, which was opposed to my general results, to make a memorandum of it without fail and at once; for I had found by experience that such facts and thoughts were far more apt to escape from memory than favorable ones. Owing to this habit, very few objections were raised against my views which I had not at least noticed and attempted to answer.
― Charles Darwin
I only believe in statistics that I doctored myself.
― Winston Churchill
Quand on voit ce qu’on voit, que l’on entend ce qu’on entend et que l’on sait ce que qu’on sait, on a raison de penser ce qu’on pense…..
― Pierre Dac
The vanity of being known to be trusted with a secret is generally one of the chief motives to disclose it.
― Samuel Johnson
Certains hommes parlent pendant leur sommeil. Il n’y a guère que les conférenciers pour parler pendant le sommeil des autres.
― Alfred Capus
De tous ceux qui n’ont rien à dire, les plus agréables sont ceux qui se taisent.
Il vaut mieux se taire et passer pour un con plutôt que de parler et de ne laisser aucun doute sur le sujet.
― Pierre Desproges
La foi soulève des montagnes mais les laisse joyeusement retomber sur la tête de ceux qui ne l’ont pas.
― Boris Vian
Paresse : habitude prise de se reposer avant la fatigue.
― Jules Renard
― Shel Silverstein
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.
― Lyall Watson
A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air.
A psychotic is the man who lives in it.
A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent.
― Jerome Lawrence
“Alas,” said the mouse, “the world is growing narrower every day. At the beginning it was so big that I was afraid, I kept running and running, and was glad when I saw walls far away to the right and left, but these long walls have narrowed so quickly that I am in the last room already, and there in the corner lies the trap into which I’ll fall.”
“You only need to change your direction,” said the cat, and ate it up.
― Franz Kafka
Les promesses n’engagent que ceux qui les écoutent. ― Henri Queuille
“When a paradigm-shattering discovery is made in science, it goes through three stages before gaining acceptance. First, people don’t believe it; second, they claim it is of no interest; and third, they say that they have always known it.”
―Vilayanur S. Ramachandran
In memoriam dr. h.g.k.
“Who is that?” the German guard growled.
“The author of Hyperion,” said Dr. H.G.K., who had a positive passion for explanations. “The greatest figure of German Romanticism. How about Heine?” he tried again.
“Who’re them guys?” the guard growled, louder than before.
“Poets,” Dr. H.G.K. said. “But Schiller. Surely you have heard of Schiller?”
“That goes without saying,” the German guard nodded.
“And Rilke?” Dr. H.G.K. insisted.
“Him, too,” the German guard said and, turning the color of paprika, shot Dr. H.G.K. in the back of the head.
― István Örkény (One minute stories)
A truth is a statement whose negation is false. A profound truth is a truth whose negation is also a profound truth.
― Marc Kac
― Shel Silverstein
2 is not equal to 3 – not even for large values of 2. ― Grabel’s Law
Research is to see what everybody else has seen, and to think what nobody else has thought. ―Albert Szent-Györgyi
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? ― Albert Einstein
L’inferno, che l’italiano si ostina a immaginare come un luogo dove, bene o male, si sta con le donne nude e dove con i diavoli ci si mette d’accordo.
― Ennio Flaiano
Mi spezzo ma non m’impiego. ― Ennio Flaiano
Nous avons tous assez de force pour supporter les maux d’autrui. ― François De La Rochefoucauld